I actually thought I was done publicly complaining about Dan Savage’s intractable bigotry, but here I am again.
Why? Because, instead of giving any real thought to the points raised by his fucking badass colleague Lindy West last week, he has simply quoted and linked to a post he wrote after I said the same basic shit three years ago. A post titled “Sweet Jesus, Kate Harding is Such a Dishonest, Paranoid Douchebag,”* and in which he A) accuses me of scrubbing a post by way of fake-complimenting my integrity (in reality, he didn’t find it because the post in question was published at Shakesville, not my site, and not long after that, a DDOS attack took Shakesville down, and when it went back up, a bunch of shit was lost) and B) delivers the delightful closing line, “And you are, of course, not allowed to say [that eating and exercise have any impact on weight]—lest the codependent thought police, in the guise of Ms. Harding, jump down your throat.”
Since that was published, I have had one (1) reasonably cordial e-mail exchange with Dan Savage on an unrelated matter, and he even said something nice about me in public once. So I sort of figured we had put that thing where he called me a dishonest, paranoid douchebag behind us? GUESS NOT.
And three years later, he still apparently cannot understand what people like Lindy West and I–and Marilyn Wann, who had the same conversation with him before Lindy was even born, I think–are saying here. I will try one more time to make the crucial point as simply as possible before I give up forever.
We are not asking for your approval of our choices.
We are not asking you to find us attractive.
We are not asking for your scientific opinion.
We are not asking you to stop secretly judging death fats or being vigilant about everything that goes into your mouth.
And you keep saying no.
*To be fair, I’ll note that this was in response to a post of mine titled, “Sweet Jesus, I Hate Dan Savage” (which was a riff on “Sweet Jesus, I Hate Chris Matthews,” a blog that started up around the same time). And if he had actually responded in kind, or even just gone with “Such a Douchebag,” I wouldn’t still be pissed in 2011. But “dishonest” is a fightin’ word, and he’s just made it an issue again.